Fuzz Brain Gone

I am excited to let you know that since I quit ingesting artificial sweeteners, and started taking B-Complex, extra B6 and Fish Oil tablets, I feel like a new woman!! I feel like I can think more clearly, concentrate better and I have more energy. I am also careful to make sure I do not skip meals, and eat healthy snacks in between, like cheese or seedy trail mix. I'm still making my latte in the morning (WITH caffeine!), but no other caffeine during the day. I am noticing that I get up in the morning more easily than before, and I don't seem to take an energy dip in the afternoon.

My next step is to add Vitamin C to my regimen to help protect me against all of the gick I will be exposed to at school. And then, I will probably add Calcium and Magnesium after that.

I don't think I really have time for exercise, although I might try to see how often I could sneak out for a half hour walk around the neighborhood. So much of my extra time is consumed with studying right now, I'm not going to pressure myself......

All in all, my Fuzz Brain is GONE, and I am so happy!

House Restoration Update

Here's how our house is coming:

flooring contractor: hired
vinyl for 3 bathrooms: ordered
upstairs carpet: Friese carpet ordered
drywall repair: Joe has it half-way done
crown moulding: purchased
plumbing: 3 new toilets purchased
checks from insurance company: hopefully on their way

Next steps:

finish drywall, texture and paint
paint and install crown moulding
have vinyl installed
install toilets
touch-up wall paint in damaged areas
move furniture out of upstairs
have carpet installed
replace all removed baseboard mouldings
have downstairs carpet cleaned

Group next Friday..

Well, I guess I will have another week to get ready to be in a small group. I emailed the leader, and she said that the group starts NEXT Friday. She also said that we will be doing SOAP's. SOAP's are a method of daily devotions that our church uses in small groups and what-not. It follows a daily Bible reading plan, where you read through the Bible in one year. Then, there is a journaling process, where you do each letter of the acronym SOAP.

S= Scripture (write a verse in your journal that stuck out in the scripture reading for the day)
O=Observation(write down what you see in the scripture)
A=Application(write how you will be different today because of what you have just read)
P=Prayer(Write out a prayer based on the devotion)

All of this can be recorded in a "Life Journal" created by Pastor Wayne Cordeiro that you can buy, or any kind of journal you want. The Life Journal itself is very organized, and you can even create a table of contents of the titles of each devotion for future reference. There is a website about the journals at www.lifejournal.cc.

My daughter has a Life Journal, which she uses. Then, she and her friends get together regularly to discuss highlights of their individual devotional lives. It's kind of neat, because everyone is reading the same thing on the same day. Pretty cool! I like how our church encourages daily devotions. Sometimes they will have someone share a journal entry during a church service. I also like how small groups can center around this, rather than a Bible study/supplemental book.

Quickie

I can't write much, because I have some studying to do before I hit my wall and have to go to bed. But, I was thinking the other day, that even as much as I needed to leave my old church, I really miss some stuff. I miss that I knew the names and faces of a few hundred people. I miss the familiarity of the faces. Maybe even the quick, superficial conversations once a week.

I really felt this tonight at AWANA when I got to talking with a couple of gals from my old church. I kinda miss these people. I mean, man, it's not like I stopped LIKING people just because I left! Maybe some stopped liking me, (HAHA!) but I still feel exactly the same.......

Maybe these thoughts are a sign that I'm ready to join this small group at my new church. It starts this Friday morning. I'm not intimidated by being in a small group or Bible study. I never have been. But, I'm afraid of this not working. I'm afraid of finding out it's a bunch of churchy women playing the churchy game.

Being at this church and not being a part of anything, has sort of been like holding my breath under water. And, I'm afraid that, when I get in this group, it's going to be like getting to the surface of the water, finally letting my breath out and I break down and cry. Get all emotional with people I don't even know. I don't know why I think I will cry. Maybe it's because I've just been so dang afraid, and now I'm doing it......I'm crossing over my twelve inch thick, very protective wall I've constructed. What's going to protect me now, sitting in the circle of this small group?

Studying my butt off

I've been pretty much studying my butt off since school started, trying to stay on top of things with interruptions from dealing with our insurance claim from the flood. We are now getting money to replace our carpeting upstairs! Yay! Joe and I are going to work our money so we can replace all three bathroom vinyl also. So, we will pretty much have all new flooring throughout our house. Our downstairs carpeting is only 2 years old, and so is the kitchen floor......It's just going to be very interesting how we are going to get all of our furniture out, so the new carpet can come in.....I told Joe he needs to basically schedule any work to be done on his days off, because I have a flood of my own - a flood of studying.....

Land of the Living

I'm still in the land of the living. As of today, that is. So far, two bathroom floors are torn up, a large portion of the downstairs sheetrock is removed and upstairs carpet is ripped up. Each team that comes over to check drying progress, has a different opinion about our kitchen floor, but today, Joe and I made a command decision to not have it removed. We are negotiating having our upstairs carpet completely replaced. One team said it was salvageable, but the other team says it's not. As difficult and inconvenient as it is going to be, we would rather have it replaced. We are also going to pay the difference, and have our third bath flooring replaced to match the others. We are also wondering if we should replace our cheesy toilets. The guy that came today, said that he sees a lot of water damage in new construction, because of the cheap toilets they put in. He recommended either replacing all of the "guts" of each toilet, or just getting new ones. I'm all for that, as I don't want to ever do this again......

I also started my Anatomy and Physiology, as well as my Physics classes the day after our flood. I'm going to have to study hard, but I'm actually excited about learning A&P. I've always wanted to study this stuff. The Physics, not so much, so my focus is going to be on doing well in A&P.

Thank you to those who have commented and are praying for us. I'm feeling not so much like I'm going to crack anymore. But, each day is some new question or surprise, so keep those prayers coming! Insurance is going to cover all water damage, but they determine how much money we need to do everything. Once we agree, they cut us a check, and we have to take care of hiring out the work. Joe has a friend lined up to do the sheet rock repair, and he is going to put up the crown moulding himself. After that, it's on to the flooring and having the downstairs carpet cleaned. Pray it goes smoothly, we stay within the budget and it's done quick.

Through The Roof

My anxiety level is through the roof right now. Last night, for whatever reason, our second bathroom toilet overflowed. This morning, I awoke to a half inch of water covering the bathroom, and wet carpet extending out into the hallway, and into the entrances of two bedrooms. The water had also taken the path of least resistance and traveled downstairs, where I found more wet carpet, and dripping coming from the beautiful crown moulding my husband installed in my front room. There was also a wet spot on the ceiling a few feet away from the dripping.

Amanda and I mopped up the water in the bathroom, and started walking on towels spread over the carpet. I got out my carpet cleaner, and attempted to suck out more water. I dumped and dumped that thing, and the carpet was still absolutely, squishing wet like wet sod. The dripping downstairs stopped.

I won't go into too much detail from here, except to say that we are now dealing with our insurance company to take care of the problem. They sent out a water damage restoration company, who went through my home like a whirlwind, and without much explanation, told me they were going to take out the upstairs bathroom flooring, pull up the carpet, remove the pad and dry everything out. They also said that they wanted to rip out my kitchen floor, the downstairs bathroom floor, rip off the crown moulding, remove sheetrock in various places and pull up the carpet and remove the pad.

I freaked. Four workers stared at me while I sat in a chair, and started my freak show. I couldn't understand why and how this kind of demolition could begin without an adjustor calling me or coming out to assess the damage. How was I to know if, once they tore everything apart, that my insurance company was going to pay me enough to put it all back together?! I made them wait around while I tried to contact insurance people for answers. Of course, I couldn't get a hold of any one right away. I finally got in touch with my agent, after leaving a tearful and distraught message. He said to not let them rip anything up until the adjustor comes. That was my gut feeling anyway, so it was good to have it confirmed. I agreed to the placement of several turbo fans and two dehumidfiers for now, until the adjustor comes tomorrow.

My house is freaking LOUD with all these fans, no one can really talk to each other. It's starting to become very hot. Tonight, my neighbor offered to let us sleep at her house - praise the Lord. Joe is going to stay in our room with our window open, with our dog.

The adjustor said we could stay in a hotel and be reimbursed. Maybe we'll do that on the weekend. Right now, we have too much going on, so the neighbor's house is perfect. Amanda and I are starting classes at the college tomorrow, among other major things.

Like I said, my stress level is through the roof. Joe has been working double shifts the last couple of days, and came home this afternoon. I was in a heap sobbing on my couch. He took tonight off, and is cancelling is other overtime for the week. This sucks, as we really needed that extra money, but I'm SO, SO, glad to know that I will have my husband's help and I won't be trying to do all of this without him. I'm also the kind of person who can visualize a big picture, and determine each step it will take to get there. So, you can imagine what is going on in my brain when I see the amount of demolition and reconstruction that is going to be taking place in my home. I covet your prayers for me. I was already stressing about starting these classes, and now I have this.

Needless to say, I will not be blogging for a little while. The house is so hot, I need to turn off the computer to save it, anyway. PLEASE pray for me. I feel like I'm gonna crack....

I'm Stepping Out

Next weekend at my church, there is going to be what is called a "Small Groups Showcase," where all the new small groups are advertised. This will begin the new season of groups, and I am going to join one! I am hoping for an early Friday morning group of women. I am ready to be a group member and get to know some women. It will be weird not to be the leader. Usually, once I step out at a church, I end up leading something. That's why I haven't stepped out since we started attending the church over a year ago. My plan is to be very quiet and try to drink in what happens. I hope to get to know some women and not reveal my past involvements. I don't want people to know how I have served in the past, and peg me for something. I want God to lead me where He wants me to go, not someone else or even myself. I want to grow in the Lord, learn from others and make friends. Gain support and encouragement. I need to start feeling a part of this place where I keep the seat warm once a week, and not a part of it because I'm "serving" there. I want to BELONG to it. I want to BELONG because of me - who I am. Not what I could offer and do.

Keep me in your prayers that God provides the right group with the right women at the right time of day. I'm feeling fragile, so I don't know if I can take too much disappointment with this process right now, so pray that it will be a blessing to my spirit.....

Jacuzzi Tub

Ben is in the next room taking a bath. He was playing with this Legos, when he wanted to know if Legos can get wet. Then, he asked if he could take a bath. I thought that would be a good idea, as I had noticed some dirt under those fingernails (it never seems to come all the way out in the shower). Anyway, he was noisily playing and talking in there when I hear this long, loud, bubbly fart. I yelled, "OH, Ben!" He laughs. Then I said, "Are you making a jacuzzi?" Laughter again, "Yeah!"

Vitamins

I've been taking a Vitamin B Complex, a little extra Vitamin B6 and fish oil for about a week now. I'm not sure if I have noticed any differences, but I think I have to give it more time. The fish oil, I had to back off of for a day, because it was upsetting my stomach. It says on the bottle, that I have to take it with food, and that's for sure. After another week or so, I'm going to add Vitamin C. I think every week, I'm going to add something else, until I am taking all of the supplements I want to try.

I'm doing all of this to see if it will help some of what I call "fuzz brain." It's this feeling that I can't quite think very well, and it seems to me, that if this fuzz would just lift off my brain, I could concentrate. I'm sure this is related to my burnout, and is possibly related to adrenal fatigue. I just hate this feeling of not being 100%. I need to be 100% to do well in school, and I'm concerned about that.

I am also trying to be extra mindful of what I eat, making sure I'm not having too much sugar or refined flour products. I'm not eliminating it all, but just trying to have less. I am trying to have more protein with my meals, and snack in between meals on things like seedy trail mix or raisins or whole grain brown rice crackers. I thought about quitting coffee, but I only have one cup in the morning and nothing more. I actually heard a doctor say that coffee is really good at preventing types of cancer, so I'm sticking with my morning latte.

I'm not making gigantic changes. I'm taking it slow, and gradually doing things better. I feel pretty good physically, although I can tire easily. I realize that this would change if I got my butt going with some exercise. We dropped our Y membership (except Joe, who doesn't seem to be using it, however), but I enjoy walking, so I can walk around my neighborhood. (Oh- this is so embarrassing when I know my friend who runs triathlons is going to read this...)

One thing at a time.....

Bedtime

I'm sitting here, checking a couple of my favorite blogs. I just put Ben to bed with his classical music playing. He calls it "violin music." He insists on falling asleep to it. On Sunday nights, it's so funny, because the classical station plays religious music. Mostly, they will play what I think are monks chanting/praying. They actually sound a little creepy sometimes. Anyway, it just struck me how unusual it is that my first grader wants to listen to classical music to fall asleep. I wonder if it is from the endless orchestra/symphony concerts of his older sisters that he has attended in his young life. Come to think of it, he falls asleep at them! HAHAHA! Well, maybe I just figured this out, didn't I?

Speaking of bedtime, I also sing a little song I made up for him when I put him to bed. Each of my girls had their own specific bedtime song, too. The girls don't request me to sing to them anymore, but Benny still does. His goes like this: "Good night, Ben. Good night, Ben. I love you, little Ben. It's time for you to go to sleep. Good night, Ben." Amanda's little song went like this: "Amanda, I love you, you are my little girl. Amanda, I love you, you are my little girl." And, Melanie's went like this: "Close your eyes, Melanie, it's time to go to sleep. Close your eyes, Melanie, it's time to go to sleep. Ohhh, it's time to go to sleep, little Melanie. Yes, it's time to go to sleep right now. So, close your eyes, Melanie. It's time to go to sleep."

Wow. Mel got a long one! Sorry I can't share the tune for each one......I remember when Amanda would wake up in the night scared, I would sing it from my bedroom, and she would go back to sleep. Melanie would say "Sing the Melanie song." And Ben wants me to tickle his back when I sing it.....I hope I remember these songs.....

My Son

MY son. Yes, MY son has memorized John 3:16. I tried to tell a friend, and I cried. It is the most awesome thing ever. AND, he is excited about it!! What's really cool, is that, this is the first of many verses he will be memorizing over the course of the school year in his AWANA program. What could be better than seeing your child "hiding the Word in their heart."

MAN!!!

Isaiah and School

So, I'm way behind in my "Read The Bible in 90 Days" plan. I think it might end up being "Read The Bible in 120 Days," HAHA!! Oh well. It's still pretty awesome to read it in one fell swoop like this. Right now, I'm in Isaiah. Frankly, I don't get Isaiah. I am going to have to read a commentary or something, because I need help getting what in the heck is going on. I know Isaiah was a prophet, and I'm pretty sure there are some "end times" prophecies in there, but I am so at a loss....Ugh! It's really hard to be reading something that I am just not getting.

I mean, some books I have read, I got what was going on, but I would still think "why is this in the Bible?" Like Ecclesiastes. Dude. The theme is basically "Life Is Meaningless." Hello!! Do NOT read that book if you're depressed. And Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs). It's pretty much love scenes between a husband and a wife - really neat (and kind of hot) reading, but I still wonder "why?" I guess you could sum it up by saying that God wanted us to realize that He created sex, too, and He made it to be a wonderful thing. I've heard it said that God doesn't cover His eyes, but rather is probably saying "Good job!" It's kind of funny, but how cool that God gave husbands and wives something so special. Too bad the world has warped it so much....

On another note, I'm starting back to school in one week exactly. I'm looking forward to "getting a life," because I need something else to do. With the kids gone all day, laundry, cooking and going to the store just aren't quite fulfilling. Yesterday, I went to the mall to kill time, basically. I saw a couple of friends (you can't go anywhere around here without seeing someone you know). I got a couple of tank tops and a pair of black shoes at Target. Killing time isn't fulfilling, either. I mean, I need my down time - don't get me wrong, but I also need to feel like I have something with meaning to do. Now, don't go saying that "being a mom is meaningful" yadayadayadayada....The kids are gone all day!!! It's boring!! I want a life. So, school's coming and that's good for me. I'm a little scared about the two classes I'm taking, because they each have a lab: Physics and Anatomy & Physiology. I really hope I didn't screw myself by taking these at the same time. Also, the guy who is doing the lab portion of my A&P class is the same jerk who taught my Biology class Spring Quarter. I could almost go into a depression if I think about it too much. This guys is a complete ---hole. He made Spring Quarter so bad for me, with his constant religious discrimination and intimidation. I'm hoping that A&P is quite different from Biology 101, so there won't be such an emphasis on evolution. If you would pray for me I could sure use it!!

Life Ain't No Crystal Stair

Life Ain't No Crystal Stair
Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Driving and boy stuff

So, I survived the first week of school. It went OK! I've had to drive Amanda back and forth from her high school, since she doesn't have her driver's license yet. She has one more "drive" with her driver's ed. instructor, and she'll be finished with that. Joe and I realized that she is going to need more practice before she attempts her driver's license test. She kind of scared me today, when I sensed her not being in total control. She gets a little panicky. So, Joe and I agreed that one of us will be taking her out for an hour each day, until we feel like she is ready for her test. We started her off on our stick shift, which was probably not a good idea. We have now switched to the truck (Explorer), so we can get her to focus on the aspects of driving, and not operating the stick for now. Even though she will be driving the stick mostly, we are going to allow her to take her test in the truck. I think she'll have a better chance at passing....

Something funny. Ben was playing with Tinker Toys, and made himself a nice jackhammer. He was like "Hey Mom, can I jackhammer the house?" I said "Sure!" Then he says, "Look, my jackhammer turns into a gun!" And, he aims it at me. What a boy.

He does other boy stuff, like the other day, my neighbor came over upset. My son and his buddy were in the backyard throwing rocks at her house. She got me a little riled with her approach, but I contained myself, as I tried to understand that I would probably be angry too, if some kid was throwing rocks at my house! I took Ben and his buddy over to pick up the rocks and apologize. I showed him how he could have broken their yard lights, or their window, or their flowerpot. I think the neighbor was satisfied. She seemed to soften, anyway....

Then today, his buddy's Dad came over, because the buddy had come home with a big wet spot on his t-shirt. Come to find out, the boys had been spitting on each other. Lovely.

I can't even recall having people come and talk to me about bad things my girls were doing. It just didn't happen. The girls played Barbies and Polly Pockets and Beanie Babies. No spitting, rock throwing or jackhammering.....

My kind of clothes...

I took a walk with Joe the other day, and I was wearing my gray, velour loungewear from Old Navy. I said, "Isn't it awesome to have clothes that can double as pajamas? All I have to do is slap on a colorful tank top, a pretty necklace, and I'm dressed up!"

Have you ever seen a fashion show where they show an outfit that goes from day to evening? Well, velour loungewear can go from sleeping to the bus stop, to the grocery store, to college classes, and back to sleeping again! My kind of clothes. :)

Another Bird Card

When I went to the paper store yesterday, I bought some beautiful stickers, entitled "Bird and Nest Stickers." They came in a thin tin with 100 assorted stickers inside. They are paper, so they can be stamped on or distressed with ink easily. There are birds, nests, speckled eggs and some words. They remind me of vintage postcard images - SO pretty. I made a card with one of the stickers last night, although it was difficult for me to even peel it off and use it. I kind of get stingy with myself with my favorite things....Anyway, I happened to have this perfect paper that matched the sticker perfectly. All I had to do was cut the paper, glue it to the card, attach the brads and slap on the sticker. I inked everything with Tim Holtz distress ink. I just love how it turned out. I think I'll set it out on my desk for awhile and stare at it. :)

I also found a 6" X 6" paper pad of the complete, new line of BasicGrey paper, called "Periphery." The paper is the same as the 12" X 12" paper they sell, except miniaturized! This is so perfect for me with the papercrafting I do. The larger paper is suitable for scrapbooking, with it's larger images, but the mini paper works best for me, doing tags and cards. I think I will purchase these tablets from now on!

Here's a few of the papers. They are pieces of art in themselves....It's sometimes very hard for me to cut them...

Having Teenagers

Being in this stage of life when I am parenting teenagers, is a crazy time. Life has become a whirlwind of activity. My girls tend to want to be with friends A LOT. This means I drive them around A LOT. Tonight, a couple of Amanda's friends came over (a guy and a girl) to take a couple of pictures of themselves for a poster they're going to make for another friend. I came downstairs to see how they were doing, and spur of the moment, I get asked if Amanda can go to yet another friend's house. I asked who would be there, to which the answer was "EVERYONE." Well, of course. Anyway, I was put on the spot, and feeling uncomfortable, yet not wanting to show it. A bunch of things were quickly processing in my brain at this moment. I suppose I could have taken her into another room and discussed things, but that probably would have been embarrassing for me and her. I could have hesitated too much - also embarrassing. My problem was this: the girlfriend is a new driver, and is not yet allowed to drive friends. This left the guy for Amanda to get a ride from. I've sort of had a rule to not allow Amanda to ride alone in a car with guys, but this guy is plain godly and awesome, and I know how much they all wanted to go see their friend who was visiting from college, so I let her do it this time. It all happened in a flash, and I figured I could text her later, which I did. I told her I wouldn't let her normally do that, but I got put on the spot. I told her how much I trusted her, and that she is a very responsible girl. She was sorry for putting me on the spot, and thanked me for letting her go.

It all turned out OK, but it's those moments when you don't know if you should stick to the "rule," or let it go. I just get concerned about not sticking with a rule one time, because they tend to remind you of that the next time, and think they have some leverage. That's when I typically remind them, "this was a one-time deal!"

The thing is, is I have awesome girls. Amanda is particularly responsible, and trustworthy. I think I have to take this into account in those moments, because she has such a clean track record, impeccable honesty, and willingness to obey. I don't want to end up frustrating her, as I felt I was frustrated as a teenager. It's just a fine balance, because I'm a very protective mom....

New Card

I had to make another card, since I went to my favorite paper store today. Joe and I went out for breakfast, and stopped in afterwards......This one is a square card (5" X 5"). The black design along the left is a rub-on, as well as the large swirl in the middle. The bird is a stamp. The paper is BasicGrey, of course. Also my favorite.

I kinda like this one. I don't know if I want to part with it....

School Days Have Begun

Well, yesterday was the first day of school. The day started early with Melanie getting up around 5:45 AM. And, not quietly. Amanda, who is only attending one class at her high school this year, got picked up around that time also, to join her friends at Starbucks for "devos" (devotions). I felt like a good mom, because I made their lunches the night before, and even last night, too! Why that makes me feel like a good mom, I do not know. Anyway, I walked Ben to the bus stop in my pink, flannel pajama pants and Nike sweatshirt. The ensemble was complete with my Keds sneakers. Obviously, I'm not out to impress the neighborhood. Ben got off to school just great, and I walked home to an empty house. I was a little antsy, but soon settled in with my decaf latte. Good stuff....good stuff.

Soon, Amanda came home, and I had to drive her to her school later on for her Orchestra class. She and I will be starting classes at the same college on the 19th - we have laughed about taking a class together! She is taking this alternative route in order to earn her associate's degree, while at the same time completing high school graduation requirements. The tuition is free, which makes it a great option. She is staying connected with her friends through their daily, morning devos, as well as Orchestra. She also eats lunch at the school when it is her Orchestra days. Of course, most of her friends go to our church, so she will have that extra time with them there, too.

All the kids had a great first day. Ben was tired, but still had a ton of energy to go to his first AWANA night! He had a great time, and is looking forward to going back. I could tell he was pretty tired this morning when he got up, though. He had a few tears, even. I think it was a pretty big day yesterday.

Today, I am going to go buy myself some Vitamin B Complex and Fish Oil tablets. A mom I was speaking with last night, said that those two supplements have made a world of difference for her in dealing with fatigue and stress. So, I was so excited last night, thinking that I might have discovered something that might get me over this last, small hump I'm needing to get over. These two supplements, incidentally, were on the list of recommended things to take for Adrenal Fatigue. I'm very encouraged today! I think the Lord is leading me in this direction, and I have a good feeling about it....

Organized

With school starting, I have felt a huge need to get organized. I know that once life starts rolling in this household, there can still be peace if things are organized. I started with my laundry room, which also serves as a pantry. It looks pretty good!

I also typed up a "Family Week At A Glance" sheet to put on our fridge. I did this last year, and it was really helpful for everyone. It shows what scheduled things people are doing, and what times they are each day. People can write on it if something comes up, but the "set in stone" stuff is typed, and I print out a fresh one every week.

I also did something yesterday, that I had only heard of and admired in the past. I am amazed at myself, so when you read this, don't go thinking I'm that special. Here's what I did. (Now, I usually do go grocery shopping with a list derived from about 10 meals I plan out. I hate going to the grocery store, so this limits the trips I have to take). But NOW - I got on my computer, and planned/typed out meals for a four-week period (only two recipes are repeated). I named the first two weeks "Block 1 Meals," and the second two weeks, "Block 2 Meals." I then took each half, and typed out the list of grocery items needed for each recipe. So, every two weeks, all I have to do is print out a shopping list, check my house for the things I don't need to buy and cross them off. Then, go shopping. My menu is already planned from all of the dinner recipes we typically eat, so I don't have to sit down every two weeks and look through my cookbooks. It's already done and saved on my computer!! HA! I can hardly believe I did it myself.

I am also planning on doing crockpot stuff on the two evenings a week I will be in class. Then, my family can have something other than cereal, because I'm gone.

Maybe this is completely boring to read, but I am very proud of myself for these accomplishments, especially with how fuzzy my thinking can be sometimes. The grocery shopping lists took me a very long time, and trying to think at times, felt like an out-of-shape person trying to ride a bike up a steep hill, but I did it and it feels good. I'm gonna get my brain back, dang it!!

OK. So, my next organizational feats will be my master bedroom closet (haven't I talked about that before?) and our new desk.

Adrenal Fatigue

I saw a link to a site talking about Adrenal Fatigue on the "Mad Church Disease" website. This was interesting to me, because, when I experienced burnout back in April of 2006 (when I hit the wall and was basically incapacitated), my doctor had said vaguely, that the stress in my life was messing with my adrenals. He didn't explain that much, but I've always remembered it.

So, as I was reading about adrenal fatigue, burnout was listed there as a sign of severe adrenal fatigue. Interesting. It also said that with severe adrenal fatigue, you can count on it taking 18-24 months for recovery. Not encouraging, but also interesting. The rest of the signs rang true with me, and I'm thankful for this information, because I've been really thinking and noticing in myself that I am not totally 100%.

I noticed it when I was going through the difficulties of Spring Quarter classes, and again, in another personal situation that was stressful. I would feel this heavy-headed sensation with difficulty thinking as well. According to Dr. Wilson, who has written a book about Adrenal Fatigue, these are some of the symptoms. Over this summer, I've just had a sense that, because of the burnout, I am not quite the same. I don't want to be the same again in many ways, and I think that's why God allowed it. However, the physical part of it, I think I need to realize, is still in recovery. I'm close, but I can tell that I'm not quite there.

With Fall Quarter starting soon, I really want to be more on top of my game. I don't want to have to read things 10 times in order to understand it, thank you very much. So, I am going to start taking some vitamin supplements. They gave a list on the site, as well as dietary changes I am going to make. This is my first step.

After I get going with that, I will take another step, and that is exercise. I'll keep you posted when I get to this.

It's amazing how stress seems to be a norm in our society today. Even in the church, being "driven" seems to be so admired. Nobody thinks about the consequences of being that way until it's too late. I guess I wouldn't have found it interesting at all, had I not experienced burnout. I hope I can encourage someone out there to take the steps to avoid it. Google "avoiding church burnout, or avoiding mothering burnout, or avoiding burnout."

Also, here's a couple of websites I found the recovery info. on:

www.newstarget.com/019339.html
www.project-aware.org/Resource/articlearchives/adrenalfatigue

I hope this helps someone today!!