Sometimes our "no's" and decisions to set limits, make other people unhappy. However, the more I learn and the older I get, it ceases to be quite as bothersome to me.
Recently, I heard a speaker talking about perspectives. She had everyone stand in a circle. She put on a funny mask, and held up a picture of something. Without turning her body, she pointed to different people around the circle, and asked them what they saw. Each person had a different answer. Each one saw things from a different point of view.
I think that, when people are unhappy with our "no's" and limits, it shows that they are unwilling to respect our decision, which was based on a different point of view than theirs. I can understand that they are unhappy with me since they are coming from a different place in that "circle," but it still doesn't change my decision.
It's unfortunate when we are unwilling to seek to understand (or even try to imagine) someone else's point of view, then refuse to discuss our negative feelings about it and work things out with someone. Besides, there are a million reasons why someone would choose to do or not do something. And, I bet that most of the time, there is no ill intent. I also don't think we should expect that the things that are important to me, should be just as important to you. And, vice versa.
Otherwise, it's people-pleasing. And, I'm so done with that.