My Daughter Has A Baby

That title freaked you out, didn't it? HAHA! Here's what this is about: my 9th grader, Melanie, is taking a class at school called "Life Issues." As part of the class, each student is required to take home an electronic baby doll. It is life-sized, and anatomically correct. Each doll is equipped with sensors on a bottle and diapers. It cried, fusses, coos, and SCREAMS. It does so just as randomly as a real baby at ANY time and at ANY hour. It even makes breath sounds constantly. There is one cute thing. It makes the cute little sucking and swallowing noises real babies do when they eat. Every time it makes noise, Melanie is required to respond. The baby reacts to diaper changes, bottle feedings, rocking, etc. It even will react if she handles it improperly. They get points docked for any recording if it's head not being held properly. She wears a wristband with a sensor that she scans over the baby to record her responses. She also has to log everything on paper.

Melanie thought it would be cool to have her baby over the Memorial Day weekend. Yeah, thanks, Mel. As I am typing this, I am listening to this baby screaming from Melanie's bedroom. It was not an enjoyable night. I hate this baby already.